Happy 1st (paper) anniversary. An open letter to my house

I've been with you now for 1 rotation of the sun, 12 months, 52 weeks, 365.24 days, 8,765 hours, 526,000 minutes, 31.6 million seconds. You feel like home now. It took about 7 months for that to happen, it was gradual, but one day I just felt peaceful enveloped within you and I just knew.

You gave me the key to your heart and quickly showed me your bad habits and flaws. Some were cute, and I've learnt to accept them, some were a right royal pain in the arse so we've gently worked on them! You learnt about mine, I leave doors open, never iron anything, am dirt blind, and sometimes  (only sometimes), I'm grumpy. I can shut your door to the world, and be comfortable, or I can leave it open and invite people in. Either way we've learnt to live happily & harmoniously together.

Friends love you, they said straight away how well suited we are and that you had a good feeling about you. My boys are happier children, the security and space you offer is important to them (it also means I'm not nagging them anywhere near as much)! My parents pop over and are relaxed in your rooms, we've had lots of happy family meals already, even without a kitchen.

You were damp, sometimes waterlogged, this meant that my drawing papers and sketchpads went limp and mouldy. It seems fitting that for our first anniversary, the paper anniversary, that you have a new roof and are drying out beautifully. My pads and paper are no longer disintegrating and I've just been offered some wall space in a fabulous little restaurant to sell my paintings. Life with you is good!

So here is a little song from me to you, Let's build a home by the White Stripes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HOVEcTDUjg

Happy anniversary my little Pilgrim Cottage, let's grow old together xxx

The dining room (when it was less cluttered)

The Red Shed - roof on/roof off/roof on

I call it a shed but I suppose it is more of a small barn, we wonder if it was part of the old Severn and Wye Bilson Halt/Bilson Loop railway buildings, but until I do more research we cant be sure. That makes it sound very grand, in reality it is four stone walls, broken tiles and rotten, wormy wood built on dirt! Mind you, that little space holds my artistic dreams. It is a two story part red brick, part forest stone building. The previous owner tried to get planning permission for it on numerous occasions but was unsuccessful thankfully. I couldn't imagine anything worse than having someone living in your garden, unless of course you count the resident wildlife.

The shed it appears has a sad history too, which I was unaware of when I bought the house. I have only heard this word of mouth, so am more than happy to amend it if anyone reading has clearer facts.

I was out walking a friends dog, and got chatting to an old chap that lived down the road from me. I was telling him I'd recently moved and pointed towards the house. 'Blimey' he said, in a broad Forest accent, 'they've pulled some bodies outta thick houze in it's time'. I was gobsmacked and naturally wanted to know more. Although I was secretly willing the man to give me an edited version due to the fact one of my boys was with me! He didn't, as you can imagine, but this was a snatched conversation, so I can only tell you what little I now know!

Apparently the drugs history in the house was well known, and a poor lad had overdosed and died in the shed. It is also thought that he wasn't found for some time. The man didn't really say much more than that. Furthermore, when I've mentioned this to people, it appears it was one of the worst kept secrets in Cinderford, However, it is very sweet that people who know where I live, (including my neighbours both sides) didn't want to tell me in case it frightened us.

Strangely, when I was first clearing the junk out of the Red Shed, I found three little plaster angels tucked into the brickwork. I put them safe, I'm not sure why, but I couldn't bring myself to throw them out. There was also a tired old chair in there. I couldn't help wondering afterwards if this was the chair the lad died in and whether the angels were put there by someone that loved him. Thankfully death and dying doesn't frighten me (I work in a hospice), so I am comfortable with the sheds history.

We have just had the roof replaced on the Red Shed, it was dangerously falling apart and I was petrified it would collapse. My friend Clive who owns Junction Builders in the Forest (https://www.facebook.com/Builditonce/) and his right hand man Kirk did a grand job. They discovered that all of the woodwork was very rotten and in fact much of the structure had disintegrated leaving the roof vulnerable and the building twisting with the weight. It probably wouldnt have survived another winter, or Kirk trampling on it! When they took the roof off, it started to fall in and the top apex of the front wall was swaying. They had to strap this tight and dismantle it carefully brick by brick (taking the comedy opportunity to tell me it had collapsed, and Kirk was in A&E, whilst Clive ate all the doughnuts)! It now had a lovely new wooden structure, facias, guttering, felt and tiling. A velux window to let some light in, as well as star gazing at night time, and some waney edge cladding in keeping with the rustic charm.

We still have to concrete the floor, board out the second storey floor, mend and point some of the walls, add in some stairs, insulate and board out the walls, add electric and water, but the building is safer....no longer on the verge of collapsing. When we concrete the floor I will put the little angels into it, on the off chance they were put there by a loved one to watch over somebody.

Eventually this will be my art and activities space. I hope to be able to run classes, do my own art/making and have a gallery type space upstairs. It is some way off before it gets finished, but from the outside at least, it looks beautiful, sassy and safe now!

Before

Before

Before

Roof off

Apex wall down

Beams and roof base on

Batoning, felt and velux 

Waney edge cladding and new tiles

Back forest stone wall

Finished roof with velux

Garden of delights...and another list

The garden I had in my previous rented property was the size of a postage stamp, but well established. Those of you that are keen gardeners will identify with the wrench you feel when you leave established plants behind. There wasn't much garden design involved, but I had some cool plants. I split what I could, re-potted what I was able and took cuttings of other bits and pieces to come with us.

When I first looked at Pilgrim Cottage in late May/early June there had been an incredible flowering philadelphus tree in the garden, when the petals dropped it looked like confetti, hence we call it the confetti tree now and have adorned it with fairy lights. There were a few other trees, a Bay, an enormous listed Silver Birch, some lovely Soloman's Seal and a couple of roses and shrubs. Otherwise there was a beautifully cultivated crop of stingers and sharp vicious brambles, affectionately known as 'spiky bastards land'. Some old bones, which I'm pretty sure are animal rather than human, together with piles of rubble and crap.

Over the past year we have gradually cleared things and put different plants into the garden. Now, my gardening usually consists of me thinking 'oh that looks pretty, lets bung it in and see what happens'. Although, I have learnt some lessons about companion planting and staggering different heights, in order to not swamp smaller flora and fauna. I also have a penchant for more unusual quirky/goth plants like Lucifer, Red Hot Pokers, Bleeding Heart and Snakes Head Fritillaria. This next list is of plants I've put into the garden. Some have taken, some havn't. Ideally, if they do all take and establish I will have some kind of interest all year round (the list was devised with this in mind, with the help of some gardeny friends - especially Claire who I work with).

Flowers/Plants in 2015-16

• Daffodils
• Helibores
• Lavender
• Dicentra (bleeding heart)
• Digitalis (foxglove)
• Lupin
• Delphinium
• Wild Strawberry
• Aubretia
• Fritillaria
• Allium
• Euphorbia
• Bacopa
• Crocosmia (lucifer)
• Marguerite
• Aquilegia
• Stachys
• Dianthus
• Saxifraga
• Eryngium
• Londons Pride
• Coreopsis
• Jasmine
• Passion flower
• Lupins
• Cyclamen
• Welsh Poppies
• Daylilies

Herbs

• Mint
• Curry plant
• Sage
• Chives
• Oregano
• Thyme
• Marjoram

I'm hoping as things establish they will self-seed. We may lose some things over winter but it will be fun to see what comes back, and if anything new comes up along the way. The garden is one of the lowest priorities, and most of this is just a short term measure. However, it is a pleasure to be able to sit outside and enjoy the peace with some garden interest, or potter about mindlessly weeding. 

Garden cleared of crap

Dave wrecking a rogue tree

The real progress starts here, or lists to stop me going insane....

After the eventful and ridiculous excitement of moving in, I did feel somewhat overwhelmed.

Not only did I have to do that grown up thing of keeping my house, and all of it's books balanced. If it did fall down around me, I was solely responsible! For a girl that has previously lived in student digs, caravans, squats and sub lettings this was a monumental deal. I also had the added, but very welcome, responsibility of making a snug forever home for three little boys.

My good friend Clive's advice was one room at a time only....now that is fantastic advice, and I had every intention of following it. The house (OK, and me) had other ideas. I will do separate posts in time, for some of the more intense tasks we have carried out and some of the minutiae, and some of the messes Ive managed to create....I love wrecking stuff, but am not so methodical about putting it back together! So much so that Dave's mantra is 'i'll get changed' as he can see that I may require some ahem...'assistance'. The poor man is exhausted!!

In order to stop this feeling of being overwhelmed and slightly insane. Ensuring the house was somehow habitable. Along with bridging the chasm of what the house was, and what one day, I aim for it to be. I started to keep a list, in a special house-list book.

I've always kept lists, these lists morph into different lists with sub categories, I lose lists, I add things to them that I've done, so that I can immediately tick it off (yup, that helps with a self-righteous feeling of accomplishment), Dave & Dad even add to these lists now. Essentially, I feel a good list can make an uncertain world far less chaotic!

I am now going to subject you to a list. I do hope you can stick with it to the end
This list is titled:

 'THINGS WE'VE DONE IN THE HOUSE 2015-16'

• Sanded floors upstairs
• Woodworm treatment
• Replaced bathroom floor and reinforced joists
• Taken up hideous carpets
• Painted 3x bedrooms, skirts and window frames
• Deep cleaned upstairs
• Put curtain poles upstairs and downstairs
• Mended stairs in landing
• Plastered hole in landing wall
• Stained floorboards upstairs
• Renewed and moved boiler system to a new Combi upstairs
• Cleared cellar and all junk from downstairs in house
• Changed kitchen lights
• Changed cooker (this entailed repairing an amazing range cooker I was given)
• Removed defunct cooker hood
• Had 2x chimneys swept
• Changed gas and electricity from key meters to monthly payments
• Took dividing wall out between 'Barry White's sauna' room and bathroom
• Moved bathroom door and blocked up ' BW's sauna' room door
• Took hideous tiles off bathroom walls
• Took old hideous bathroom set out of bathroom
• Fitted waste pipe and plumbing
• Got water into bathroom
• Mended down pipe
• Moved toilet
• Plumbed in new bath, sink and shower
• Tiled shower
• Mended walls and replastered bathroom
• Mended & sealed bathroom window (after it blew out)!
• Painted sitting room and made it a bit cosy
• Painted gates
• Rebuilt stone pillar out the back
• Got rid of outside toilet
• Cleared junk pile from garden
• Chopped down rogue trees
• Took dividing fence down
• Added a herb patch
• Put some new plants in
• Put window into small workshop, made stable door for it
• Plastered and painted small workshop inside and out
• Painted back garden gate
• Cleared mile-a-minute and brambles from garden
• Put the house name back up on the wall
• Installed internet and sky
• Had new beams and roof put on house & porch
• Chimneys on house capped and rounded off
• Flashing on house & porch all renewed 
• Chimneys & porch mended and painted
• Old ariel taken down
• Guttering on house repaired
• New roof, guttering and velux on the red shed

In two days time we will have been in the house for one whole year. When I read through this list, I think we've done pretty-bloody-well. Especially as we are doing these things in spare time and on a very limited budget. We've had weekends and evenings when we've broken ourselves, matted our hair with plaster dust and drank too much wine on a school night to ensure we find it all amusing, but the house is so much better than it was. Drying out, warm, and we can have a shower. Viva la list

What more could a girl ask for! xx

Midnight face masks and wine in the garden after a day doing DIY

Moving Day - A selection of the problems we inherited

Here are some more snaps to give you an idea. Every room needs doing, but on the plus side there are lots of original features. Look at the stone fireplace in the room with the dragon lampshade.

Cumbling landing wall

Very damp wall under the sink

Gaffer taped electrics

Damp on the walls and a dragon lampshade!!!

Mismatched carpet offcuts

Scribbled on bath panels 

Barry White's Sauna room

Moving Day - A selection of the junk that was left in the house

Today I found some of the pictures of the house as we moved in. So the following post's will mostly be illustrations to show what we were up against. I think they speak for themselves!

Broken furniture and lots of rubbish

Wonky garage, note the missing door and more piles of rubbish

Other peoples junk in the garage - this was just the start!

Large pile of smashed furniture and rotting wood

Broken beds, boxes and bags of rubbish

Day 1 - Mary Jane's Garden Centre

Despite the house being in a desperate state, and us having to clear it before we can even begin to start moving our things in. I decide I will sleep there on the first night, even if it kills me (which it may possibly do - or at least give me some hideous period of sickness). It was like a scene from the Twits, only there was no Roly-Poly bird and Muggle-Wump monkey family.

So I set about ripping up the carpets, which smelt like a cattery...nice! All the floorboards would need woodworm spray treatment before any of us could really live in there, or I could move my furniture in. Annabel and Mum were on cleaning and refreshments duties. The children were at their Dad's. My Dad and the chaps (Keith, Sean and Dave), were also hands on, moving stuff from the house and cellar, into the garage, which was to become the dumping ground for the time being.

Dad was wondering why the cellar had been so well insulated and had such a good lighting system, yet other parts of the living areas of the house had been left, and had, at best naked bulbs, or fizzing strip lights. There were also loads of empty flowerpots and plant feed containers. It all became clear when we found a large pump in the corner of the cellar. Previous tenants somewhere along the line had been running a home business - Mary Jane's Garden Centre down there...no wonder they were so relaxed about DIY and fixing the house up!!

                                                                     Useful 'Pot plant' tools

I adore stories like these as it adds to the character and richness of the houses history. It also explains why there was often a police car casually parked round the back of the house. I think they've realised that we are a pretty bog standard, law abiding family now, as I havn't seen them for months!

By the end of that day I was stinking, itchy and exhausted, Annabel had got through numerous pairs of rubber gloves & bleach. The chaps had done 4 jam packed box van loads of removals so were completely battered too. We popped a bottle of fizz, then they all went home and I collapsed into a nest on the floor that Dave and I had made, my first night in my very own home! xx

Annoyingly I cant find many of the first day photos just now, but I will have a rummage and dig them out, then do a posting about them in the future.

Pilgrim Cottage

The reason I named this blog Pilgrim's Progress is down to the name of the house - Pilgrim Cottage, a blog by any other name would not be as sweet! 

I think parts of the dwelling are actually very old, 1800's would be a guess. It has a tiny tin church two houses down called Bilson Mission, this was originally built in 1880 as a place of worship for the travelling community. It makes me wonder if my house welcomed weary travellers in for some food and shelter. I will, at some point, go to the local council and look up any historic records I can find as I'd love to know more about its history. 

The house has fallen in to quite a state of disrepair as you will have gathered, and was advertised as needing 'complete modernisation' (although I don't like that word). So as you can imagine dear reader, it needs a hell of a lot of work doing to it on an extremely limited budget (luckily I have a very dedicated Dad and partner, and I'm a bit of grafter, so between us we make a really hard working team). I will recycle, upcycle, repurpose, make do and mend, teach myself new skills and all those other things us slight eccentrics do, with gusto until we get there...I actually derive a ridiculous amount of pleasure from this way of living, and ultimately it will give me more satisfaction as it does all come together.

I think this renovation will be a labour of love over many years (I'm really impatient so patience is a skill I'm learning), but it has heart and soul already. It has obviously been the subject of great affection, even if it hasn't been nurtured for innumerable years. Families have come and gone, some with sad stories from what I've heard, but I also feel sure there have been many happy times too. We've certainly filled it with love and laughter, along with drilling, plastering and paint fumes, over the last 12 months! We even managed a Christmas tree in the very dampest of rooms last December, it looked very festive and none of the fairy lights shorted out!

(ooops apologies for mentioning Christmas 17 weeks before I should do)!

I think these lines sum up how I feel about this long term, lifetime renovation project beautifully!

“This hill though high I covent ascend;
The difficulty will not me offend;
For I perceive the way of life lies here.
Come, pluck up, heart; let's neither faint nor fear. ” 
― John Bunyan, The Pilgrim's Progress

29th of August....

...on this day in history: 

• 1923 Richard Attenborough was born 
• 1950 British troops arrive in Korea to bolster the US presence there during the  Korean War (incidentally my Grandad went there with the Glorious Gloucester's Regiment and got shot in the buttocks)
• 1953 the USSR explodes its first hydrogen bomb
• 1964 Mary Poppins is released on film
• 2015 I get the keys to my first house!

It's raining hard and the door is so swollen we cant get in!

Dad comes and shoulder barges the door, we get in! There is no electric, no running water, mould all over the walls and the boiler needs condemning....I adore it! 

The boys come and have a good look around with me, but sadly it is too unsavoury for them to move in just yet. Mum cooks a huge everlasting vat of curry for the workers and we have copious bottles of fizz ready for the evening. My adored, and long suffering friends and family*, now spend the next few days moving and handling the previous god knows how many tenants, discarded rubbish out, and my treasured museum of important shit (along with all the other less exciting life essentials such as plates, beds and wardrobes) in. The boys will stay with Nanny and Grandad for the next six weeks. Now the hard work begins!! 

*As a side note during this time I met my partner in crime Dave, we have known each other since we were at secondary school (over 30 years ago), so I hope he didn't get too many horrific suprises! He was hoping this sentence read more like this...'a roguishly handsome, yet sensitive goth fell for me along the way...xxx

Approval & The Museum of Important Shit

Despite the horror stories we are so often told the sale completed within 6 weeks. With only one minor hitch, although it felt pretty major at the time, especially as I was due out of the country! 

The mortgage company miscalculated my income taking it as every 4 weeks rather than monthly - it makes all the difference apparently, cue overnight panic and palpitations. Luckily Nigel, my cool as a cucumber mortgage broker told me to enjoy my holiday and that he would sort this. He dutifully did and I received a calming call from him just as I stepped off the ferry in France, saying the mortgage had been approved. Cue desperately needing an excited wee and more palpitations! I think the kids and I squeezed each other till we popped and screamed a lot at this point! 

Some of my fabulous friends (Neil, Dave and Annabel) back in the UK were coming in everyday packing up bits and bobs of the house where we lived for me. Being arty and very visual, I have the capacity to get monumentally sidetracked with tasks such as this. Musing over where I got something, the memories attached to it and the people it may remind me of. Everything tells a story, My friend Neil claims it's procrastination at it's finest! I say bits and bobs, OK, they packed 90% of my stuff, for which I am forever grateful (thanks lovelies). I am, it turns out, a boderline hoarder. Rather like Nick Cave's Museum of Important Shit in 20,000 Days on Earth, I too have my own important shit (I have also been on earth for 15,744 days just in case you idly wondered that)! I've collected things that would look wonderful in a painting for years, all in preparation for this dream of mine! If I ever decided to take up dusting it would be a potential nightmare darlings! The house was also disguised as a Tardis, and I am a squirrel, I can bury things in the smallest of places in order to fit it all in. I will never know how I owned so much stuff in such a limited space. I gave plenty to charity shops, but no matter how much I claimed to declutter (often met with giggles or sighs of relief from Annabel), I still seemed to own A LOT!! Surely most of it was the children's...??

I digress...by the time I got back to the UK two weeks later, the packing was almost complete, the solicitor was on the case and I had given my months notice on the house we were living in. The dream was coming true!! 

Deep thought...and buying a house...

So there I am aged 42 finding the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything...well perhaps it wasn't that deep....I was just hoping to put down some roots.

Finding out whether I could even get a mortgage was a scary prospect. I mean, I was a broke single mum and the government clearly detested women like me, whether I was in gainful employment or not! Ever the optimist, I hoarded together bits of paper proving who I was and that I was as skint as I said I was, and left it all in the capable hands of my warm hearted mortgage broker (no seriously, this guy was a legend). 

Here's where the funny chicken and egg thing happens with house buying, you have to put in an offer on a place, before you know if you can even get a mortgage...imagine the tension THAT causes! 

So anyway back to perusing for houses....I actually only looked at three in the flesh (or should I say bricks). One was adorable but small, and way out of my price range. Another was in the corner of a rundown cul de sac...shudder...The other was the most ramshackle, broken, overgrown, unloved, beautiful place I could imagine and it was just within what I could afford if I bartered. I'd actually seen it up for auction the previous October, thought wow that's perfect, but the timing was all wrong. I'd taken a day off work in the May and was round at my parent's drinking tea with all three of us idly looking on estate agents websites. Incredibly, we all seemed to be reading out details about the same house to each other. The same house from October... it hadn’t made the auction asking price so was back on the market with an estate agent! Mum decided we should go and look at it straight away so called the estate agent, who agreed to meet us at 'said house' within the hour! 

The deal was I took my parents with me to look at places as they will think with their heads, whilst I would most definitely be relied upon to buy with my heart!

We arrived, the place was huge, and a veritable Aladdin's cave of other peoples broken, discarded crap. Car doors, old tyres, a massive pile of smashed chairs, defunct, faded plastic kids toys....I looked through the window and saw the biggest Forest stone fireplace, with a Forest stone window seat. So many beautiful original features I could lovingly restore, AND a very broken two storey shed behind some overgrown trees and stinging nettles....I fell in love then and there! Mum & I gave each other a knowing look and I whispered some expletives to her excitedly. 

Driving back to my parents (a mere three miles away), I casually asked, would it be ridiculous to put an offer in right now? There were some more people viewing on the weekend, and I felt sure if they saw what I saw they would snap it up! My parents were as excited as I was, I asked Mum if she would make the call to put the offer in for fear I would vomit with exhilaration down the phone! The estate agent laughed and said 'that was quick!'

By the end of that day my offer was accepted (£30,000 less than the original asking price). So mortgage permitting the damp musty house, seriously leaning to one side two storey shed, fractured double garage, and battered workshop all containing huge amounts of human detritus could quite possibly be our new home! I could barely contain myself!!!

Daring to Dream

Two years ago I found myself at a particularly challenging period of my life. Working full time, finishing a masters degree, facing major surgery due to rampant endometriosis and a single mummy to 3 little boys. We were also living crammed into a small 2 bedroom, rented mid-terrace house in a city I wasn't overly fond of, partly due to the terrible parking and relentless barking dogs!

Now that may sound a little negative, it wasn't. That was my life, and I was happy with the choices I had made and the lot I had, even though I was pretty exhausted!

Yet, I had always had this dream that one day I would live in a little cottage of my own and if I was lucky I would be able to have an art studio in a shed. Here I could happily while away the hours painting or making stuff! In reality, I knew this was a pipe dream. I was getting older, my wages were low, the economy was at constant threat of recession, and saving for a deposit whilst providing for my boys was nearly impossible. Furthermore, a mortgage would be out of the question. However, I held on to this dream for dear life, even if it never came true, I enjoyed thinking about it. Wistfully picturing myself there relaxing with a glass of red wine (or drink of choice to suit the moment), enjoying the peace and the scent of the cottage garden, using a well-loved palette of paints....all very romantic!

Then one day my wonderful Great Uncle died.

Uncle in his younger days

My Mum phoned up, I could hear in her voice she was extremely upset, Uncle had unexpectedly died aged 88, he was like a father to her. We'd always been a close little family so this hit everyone very hard.

A few months later I received the news that my amazing Great Uncle had kindly left my boys and I some money in his will. Enough for me to have a sizeable deposit for our first ever house. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined this, it would change our lives. I sobbed and laughed, and dared to dream a little bit more....